Keeping Children Out of Conflict: Lessons for Parents
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Keeping Children Out of Conflict: Lessons for Parents
The recent case of Tom v M and F [2024] EWFC 313 (B) highlights the difficult territory children can find themselves in when parents’ disputes go unresolved. In this case, after being involved in court proceedings for many years, 13-year-old “Tom” applied to change his living arrangements and school to be closer to his father, expressing his desire to live mainly with him.
This case serves as a powerful reminder of how ongoing parental conflicts can weigh heavily on children. Although a child’s voice is essential and their wishes are relevant, these are only part of the overall picture. The court’s role is to focus on what’s truly best for the child’s future well-being and stability, not just their current wishes, and maintaining relationships with both parents.
After assessing Tom’s understanding of the situation, the court ultimately refused his request, noting that years of conflict between his parents had affected his emotional development and maturity, and he was not able to weigh up the long-term consequences of his wishes. This case illustrates how repeated litigation can lead to “embedded harm” in a child’s sense of self, which is difficult to undo. The judge considering this case stressed the urgency of minimising children’s involvement in parental conflicts to prevent lasting emotional harm.
Tom’s case serves as a reminder to parents of the potential psychological costs that children bear when parents remain locked in disputes.
Planning Ahead for Holiday Arrangements
For parents, the message is clear: remaining child-centred, even when it means resisting prolonged or high-conflict court involvement, is crucial. The value of resolving disputes outside the courtroom to children’s mental, emotional and physical health is unmatched.
With the festive season approaching, this case is a reminder for separated parents to proactively make arrangements for their children as soon as possible. By acting early and putting children first, parents can often find solutions that meet support children’s needs without resorting to acrimonious legal battles, creating a more peaceful holiday season for everyone involved.
Prioritising a Child-Focused Approach
For parents currently facing issues with child arrangements, here at Rix & Kay Solicitors LLP, we can help you maintain a cooperative approach, prioritising your child’s overall welfare. We are committed to providing expert advice and dedicated support to achieve the best outcomes for our clients and their children. We focus on the unique needs of each client and work with you to develop a comprehensive understanding of your situation, providing robust representation of your interests. Working with a trusted legal professional can help foster a healthier, more supportive environment for your children’s growth and well-being.
Contact us
To better understand how we can assist you and your family, contact Rebecca Jones of our Family Law team via e. RebeccaJones@rixandkay.co.uk or t. 01732 440 856 today.
